Monday, April 27, 2009

Someone Open the Flu...

...and let Rick Perry's hot air fly out the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention chimney.
Waah! Waah! We don't want your stinkin' tax-and-spend stimulus money, and we may just choose to leave the whole lot of you in our sweet secession dust,
said our oh-so-eloquent governor less than two weeks ago.
Aack! Aack! Our kids have swine flu and we need 38,000 courses of antiviral meds from - um - the union we threatened to secede from 12 days ago,
says the same brilliant guy now. May I just say a couple of things in defense of Texans who sometimes think before they speak? At least 3.5 million of us voted for Barack Obama, and we're going to live in the country that elected him. We hope we don't have to move to do that. And we hope the rest of you will embrace us as the slow drawlin' Texas democrats we are. Really, not all of us are idiots. I promise. Yes, we've deserved every "pack up your drought-ridden, urban sprawling, pig shit farming, meth-addicted territories and leave!" Thanks, Governor Perry. Love it when you get us in the news. Did you wake up on the morning of April 15, feeling like Sam Houston at the Battle of San Jacinto? Did you think you'd stage a sneak attack on the federal government and, somehow, make a threat to secede sound like the roar of a winner? Were your inner voices chanting "Remember the Alamo" that morning? Did you wake up 10 days later, with the news of swine flu showing up in your great state, feeling like the biggest goof on the planet? What were the inner voices saying that day? "Oh crap?" I hope so.
Sam Houston leading the charge on Santa Anna's troops at San Jacinto...the battle that won Texas independence from Mexico, April 21, 1836...Texas became a state 9 years later.
Workers disinfecting a classroom at Byron P. Steel High School in Cibolo, Texas...where at least two confirmed cases of swine flu have been reported.
Somehow, I believe Governor Perry has nothing to worry about. I'm betting the union he's not so sure he wants to be part of will send some version of a response that looks like...
"Sure buddy, we got your back."
Don't forget your manners, gov. Thank the nice people in Washington. Peace.

1 comment:

jo ann said...

ah yes....we had discussions around our table about where our "2nd favorite state" to live in might be, hoping it wouldn't come to that....
meanwhile.....we're embarrassed. ugh.