Thursday, May 14, 2009

Early Goodbyes

There's a Mass of Christian Burial this morning in a small Illinois town just 85 miles south and west of Chicago. It appears to be a sunny day there, which is a fitting tribute to the young woman whose life will be remembered and celebrated and mourned. Twenty-five year olds are not supposed to die. The sentence bears repeating...Happy, vibrant, creative young adults are not supposed to die. Just ask my friend Terri, whose 25-year old son was killed in a fire not quite two years ago. Or my friend Carol, whose 27-year old daughter lost a heroic battle with cancer just 10 months ago. And now the family and friends of Gaby Duffy wander through that black hole of disbelief, as they replay the days of their last week: lingering fever, hospital, diagnostics, visits with best friends, seizure, death. There is no way to make sense of these things. We dare not call it God, for that would only make clear headed people hate God. We cannot call it Fate, because there is no reasonable explanation for this world losing a young creative chef, or a tender-hearted friend/wife/quilter, or a photographer who found beauty in things others found strange. It comes to this: Shit happens. Loving people is dangerous business. We have learned the hard way that good-byes sometimes come way too early. We enter the days after these lessons so much more aware that life is not a promise...but one moment upon one moment. And we walk, forever after, longing for just one more...
Gaby Duffy, August 2004

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